Wake up call

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins."

2 Peter 1: 3-9

This passage hit me really hard in my quiet time tonight. It was the first one I happened to flip open to, and I'm sure that God wanted to hit me over the head with this. Because I feel like so often, I live forgetful of the price that has been paid for my sins. And therefore, I live "ineffective and unproductive" for God. In the Greek, some synonyms for "ineffective" are unemployed, idle, lazy, careless, or useless. Other words for "unproductive" are unfruitful, fruitless, or useless. Those are harsh words. And harsher still is how accurately they often describe my spiritual life. The passage says that these things will keep me from being ineffective and unproductive in my "knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." I know that in Christ God came to earth for the sake of my salvation and suffered a painful torture and death, only to be resurrected and conquer death--all to bring me new life and reconcile me to God. I know this. But what has this changed in me? This--the greatest thing that has ever happened in the history of the world, and in my personal history--should change everything!! Nothing about the way I live, work, socialize, eat, sleep, breathe should NOT reflect the incredible magnitude of this reality!!

I have faith. That's not usually an issue for me. But goodness? Knowledge? Self-control? Perseverance? Godliness? Brotherly kindness? Love? I think I'm doing okay on a few of these qualities, but I'm nowhere near close to possessing all of them.

May I "make every effort" in pursuit of these things. May I make every effort to apply the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ to my everyday life, and to practice being productive and efficient in working for God's Kingdom.

Advent

"A prison cell, in which one waits, hopes ... and is completely dependent on the fact that the door of freedom has to be opened from the outside, is not a bad picture of Advent."

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer, German pastor and philosopher (1906-1945) imprisoned and executed for his attempt to overthrow Adolf Hitler.

We are lost. We are without hope. Our death is inevitable and impending. We are overwhelmed by our powerlessness.

Advent is the season of waiting. It is the season of reflection. We reflect on the fact of our hopelessness apart from God. Without this, the Joy of Christmas is shallow and fleeting. It's not a celebration if we don't understand what we're celebrating.

Go read this. I can't put it any better.

Pressing On

So this semester did not go as well as I had hoped for spiritually. With all the personal spiritual growth I'd experienced over the summer, it was exciting to apply that to the spiritual community at HU, and at first I thrived. But life--academics, busyness, laziness, etc--caught up with me, and my spiritual life suffered. At times I feel like I failed this semester. I did fine in my classes (I think--grades aren't in yet), but so often I failed as a Christian, as a leader, and as a friend. It's not like I had a crisis of faith or did really terrible things, but I failed to grow, I failed to love, I failed to live out my faith. Even though I'm not one to sugarcoat my life and make everything seem wonderful when it really wasn't (one of my pet peeves), I doubt anyone even noticed. Not that I have unobservant or uncaring friends, but that on the outside, it didn't have much impact. I still lived normally and knew the right things to say. That's almost what bothers me most: the lack of impact. Why doesn't my faith impact the way I live my life? If I'm living for something larger than life, shouldn't that manifest itself in how I live?

Through all of this I'm amazed at God's faithfulness. It's only been in the last few days that I've had the chance to look back and realize that I took several backwards steps on my journey of forward progress in my spiritual life. But even so, God is still faithful. I feel him now urging me onward, despite the lost ground. He is truly unconditional. Unchanging. I've messed up His will for me, and He loves me no less. He helps me no less. That's really amazing.

I feel that right now I can accurately echo the words of Paul in Philippians:

...but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind, and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

So I will press on. I want to praise God for His faithfulness, and to work more for His will and His Kingdom. I don't want my faith to be circumstantial. I don't want my faith to not have an impact, on my life or the lives of others.

Yay! Blogger works again!

For the past week or so, Blogger hasn't been working for me for some reason, which has been frustrating. Not too much has been going on. I'm in the middle of finals week at HU, which is going decently well. Last week my big accomplishment was finishing up my research paper for systematic theology, which I did on infant baptism. Doing this paper changed the way I think about baptism and its meaning and consequence. So here's the paper if you're interested in reading it:

A Theology of Infant Baptism

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Christianity Religion covenant theology Jesus Christ

Opposite, but not equal

I've been thinking recently about how many opposite forces are not in fact opposites. Some of these that would typically be "opposites" are hot vs. cold, light vs. dark, good vs. evil, God vs. the devil, etc (I can't think of any more right now, but I'm sure there are more). But when I really think about these, they are not opposites, but one is usually the absence of the other. Darkness is merely the absence of light, cold is merely the absence of heat. So thus it follows that Evil is merely the absence of Good, and the devil/sin is merely the absence of God. It is common orthodox theology that the forces of the spiritual realm are not dualistic in nature (i.e. two forces forever equally pitted against each other), but that God is the much greater being, and the devil is merely a rebel who has fallen from the ultimate Good, and thus not at the same level as God and His Goodness. And, as C.S. Lewis put it, "badness is simply spoiled goodness."

So, when put in perspective of our lives, if the evil in us is merely the absence of God, then the answer is to fill our lives more and more with God, and chase out the evil. I see it kind of like a container that is two opposing substances that don't intermix, and there is constantly adjustments made as to which substance takes up more space in the container (us). We were meant for God and his goodness, but it has been spoiled by evil and sin. If we continue to fill our lives with good, there is no room for evil.

So let us fill our lives with good. Let us pursue God, the source of all goodness. Let's chase out evil with good, not only in our lives, but in this world. As Edmund Burke said, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." We complain about the sin in this world, but then don't do anything about it. Don't let your lives be about the absence; fill it with the source.

St. Augustine on Love and Lust

I'm currently reading "Confessions" by St. Augustine. It continues to amaze me that this man who lived around 1700 years or so ago can still speak to my struggles and sorrows and joys today. The vulnerability of his writing and the philosophy of his thinking astound me. I'm not very far into the book still, but every so often there will come a section that hits me hard, right where I'm at. I read such a section today, and I want to share it:

Book III.1

"I went to Carthage, where I found myself in the midst of a hissing cauldron of lust. I had not yet fallen in love, but I was in love with the idea of it, and this feeling that something was missing made me despise myself for not being more anxious to satisfy the need. I began to look around for some object for my love, since I badly wanted to love something. I had no liking for the safe path without pitfalls, for although my real need was you, my God, who are the food of the soul, I was not aware of this hunger. I felt no need for the food that does not perish, not because I had had my fill of it, but because the more I was starved of it the less palatable it seemed. Because of this my soul fell sick. It broke out in ulcers and looked about desperately for some material, worldly means of relieving the itch which they caused. But material things, which have no soul, could not be true objects for my love. To love and to have my love returned was my heart's desire, and it would be all the sweeter if I could also enjoy the body of the one who loved me.
So I muddied the stream of friendship with the filth of lewdness and clouded its clear waters with hell's black river of lust. And yet, in spite of this rank depravity, I was vain enough to have ambitions of cutting a fine figure in the world. I also fell in love, which was a snare of my own choosing. My God, my God of mercy, how good you were to me, for you mixed much bitterness in that cup of pleasure! My love was returned and finally shackled me in the bonds of its consummation. In the midst of my joy I was caught up in the coils of trouble, for I was lashed with the cruel, fiery rods of jealousy and suspicion, fear, anger, and quarrels."

With all my thoughts this past year about love and singleness, this really spoke to me. Augustine's description of the process of falling in love with the idea of love is spot on with what I've experienced. As long as I continue to seek after nourishment that is perishable, I'll continue to struggle and be left unsatisfied. So often I'm not hungry for the nourishment of God because I haven't had it in so long. It became "less palatable."

Augustine is one of my new heroes.

I'm Thankful for...

Breaks from school and all the stress that comes from my responsibilities and commitments there.

My family and how much closer I've grown to them this past year.

My friends at HU, some of the best people I know on earth.

My friendships here at home that have stood the tests of time and distance, and even grown stronger.

Sigur Ros' music, which moves me like none other.

Leftover turkey sandwiches.

Late nights at Johnson's Junction.

Playing guitar and singing in the stairwell, which makes my playing and my voice sound awesome (when they're really not).

Laughter, especially the uncontrollable kind.

Really good naps.

The low price of gas right now.

Pretty much all of the faculty/staff/administration at HU. They are awesome, and I know that they really care.

Singleness.

The things that I learn and can apply to my life.

Joel and Justin's womb.

People who are encouraging.

A God who continually forgives and loves and works in me despite how much I screw up.

The Church, and efforts toward unity in the Body of Christ.

God who has called me and chooses to work through me.

The sacrifice of Jesus Christ for my sake and for the sake of His Church, reconciling God's people to Himself.

Freedom in Christ.

The hope of a new creation.



There are lots others, I'm sure, but I can't think of them right now. I have so much to thank God for. My hope is that this gratitude doesn't only express itself one day out of the year.

Digging up old journal entries

A journal entry from this last summer:

I just realized that I hold a lot of hatred inside me. Not real intense hatred, like rage, but a pretty strong dislike for certain groups of people or things. Examples of these: extreme republicans, extreme democrats, conservatives, liberals, Christians who’ve got it all figured out, cynics who’ve got it all figured out, nominal Christians, judgmental fundamentalists, radical post-moderns, hypocrites, people who are happy all the time, people who are sad all the time, people who complain all the time, etc, etc, etc. Now, I don’t really think that if an individual who fit into any of these categories came up to me, I would automatically feel hatred for them. But I would probably view them with some sort of bias. It’s mainly that these general categories will get me fired up and almost angry. Why is this? I’m pretty sure I’ve been in most of these categories. Do I hate myself? I hate that I hate so much. I want to love. I want to be a channel for the love of Christ. I realize now that if I say that I want to love just to be an example to others of Christ’s love, it’s sort of like trying to get people to look at me, and justify myself by my own merit. But to have Christ love through me is a different thing. This is a pure love, with no ulterior motives or need for gratitude/acceptance/pride. Purity goes far beyond being sexually clean and keeping my thoughts off dirty things. It is a holistic focus on Christ—the source of all Love and Good and Peace. I learned today that the Hebrew word shalom, which is normally translated peace, goes far beyond just a lack of hostility. It is a completeness, fulfillment; the perfect realization of everything that life was intended to be. This is what Christ came for. This is what my purity aims for. Only in Christ will I find true shalom.

Love in Weakness

In Greek, there are multiple words that in English we translate "love." Our English translation doesn't really do justice to the nuances between the different words that we translate as the same. Two of the most common words for love in Greek are the verbs phileo and agapao. Phileo connotes a love of friendship, or affection between friends or family. The city of Philadelphia is a combination of the words phileo and adelphos, which means "brother"--thus, it is the City of Brotherly Love. This phileo love is prompted by an emotion felt between friends or family.

Agapao is a higher kind of love. It is a love that regards something as more important than yourself, and places its will above your own. It is to cherish something with reverence, and it is willing to give up everything for the object of it's love. It is a tendency of the will rather than an emotion. One definition states: ἀγαπάω denotes to take pleasure in the thing, prize it above other things, be unwilling to abandon it or do without it. In a sense, agapao love is often the cause of phileo love. Agapao is used to tell of God's love for people and the world. It is a higher, self-sacrificial, deliberately willing love.

These definitions are interesting to note when we look at the last chapter of the Gospel of John. It is after Jesus has been resurrected and appears to His disciples. He approaches Peter, who just a few days earlier had betrayed Jesus by denying association with Him. He asks Peter a blunt question: "Do you truly agapao me?" Peter, full of shame at his denial, can only tell the truth before his Lord, who knows all things before they are said. He responds bluntly, with "Yes, Lord, you know that I phileo you." Jesus responds, "Feed my lambs."

Peter knows that his actions have shown his heart, and he is honest in his confession that he is not where Jesus expects him to be. He cannot say truthfully that he agapao loves Jesus with this sacrificial love that Jesus asks and expects of him. How awkward is this? It would be like today if a guy told his girlfriend "I love you" for the first time, and was met with the response of "Yeah, I like you a lot, too." How humiliating this must have been for Peter, who is met head-on with his guilt and shame in the presence of his Lord Jesus.

Jesus asks Peter a second time, "Do you agapao me?" To which Peter can only respond again, "Yes, Lord, you know that I phileo you." Jesus responded with, "Take care of my sheep."

Then the third time Jesus says to Peter, "Simon son of John, do you phileo me?" This time Jesus concedes to Peter's position, to make sure that he loves him even with a phileo love. Now Peter is hurt. Not only did Jesus ask him this question a third time, but the third time stung even more because Jesus was questioning even his phileo love. Peter responds, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I phileo you." Peter is basically saying to Jesus, "You know everything about me and how weak I am. You know that this phileo is all I have to give right now in my weakness."

This is such an interesting passage that we completely miss over in our English translations. It's kind of depressing too, because this is Peter, the rock upon which Jesus is going to build His Church! This is that same Peter, saying that he can't really love Jesus enough! But this isn't where the story ends. After Peter's third response, Jesus says to him,

"Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go" Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!"

By telling Peter that someday he would end up dying to glorify God, Jesus is basically saying to him, "You do not agapao love me now, but you will. Someday it will come down to you giving your life up for me, which is the same kind of self-sacrificing love that I have for you." There is hope for Peter. Someday he will glorify God in the highest form possible, because of his agapao love for Him. I imagine that, while standing before Jesus in his shame, Peter really wants to say that he agapao loves Jesus, but just can't. Jesus tells him that he will get there someday, and in the meantime, to follow Him anyway and tend His sheep.

If you are really honest with yourself, can you truly say that you agapao love Jesus? Does our love for Jesus often stop once it stops being convenient or comfortable for us? Can we really say that we will give up everything and regard Jesus as so much greater that ourselves because of our love for Him?

Jesus knows our weaknesses. He knows that a lot of the time we don't live up to expectations. But still he says to us, "Follow me," regardless of where we are at. If we really desire to know agapao love for Christ, he promises us that we will. It doesn't matter that we are not perfect. None of Jesus original disciples were. Jesus still tells us to follow him and gives us the responsibility of feeding His sheep. He trusts us enough to know that we will grow. Jesus' agapao love he shows in dying for us and then trusting us in our imperfections is what will lead us on to grow in our agapao love for Him. Jesus works in us despite our weaknesses. He says to us, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Not Voting to Make my Voice Heard

I am not voting today.

For the last several months I have had so much propaganda thrown at me from both parties to vote for the right candidate, as well as non-partisan urgings to get out and vote because it's my civic duty. I'm just tired of it. I'm ready for tomorrow to come so all the commercials will be over.

I made the conscious decision not to vote a while ago. I've written about this in a previous note, but when Christians put so much hope in the power of the voting booth and in one man to save us all from the woes of the opposing party, this is idolatry. Christians, our faith is not to be in a political system. The Kingdom of God, which is what we should be striving for, is far above this. And for Christians to vote for the candidate who most represents Christ in their policies and character, and expect them to fulfill the duties of the Church while we sit back and live our comfortable lives is irresponsible of us. If we want change, it needs to start with us, not with our politics. If you think that spreading the wealth is the most Christ-like policy, don't just let Obama take care of it, start doing it yourself. This is what Christ has commanded us.

I know that Christians need to be active in our world. I know that voting is often a part of that. But at this point in my life, this is the best way I know how to "make my voice heard." This is my way of being active politically and spiritually. My hope is that Christians will wake up and look beyond the propaganda to see how Christ has called us to live in this world. My hope is that Christians will stop putting their hope in a political system and start being active in their own communities to bring change. My hope is that people will start taking personal responsibility for bringing hope into this world rather than relying on one man and a government to do so. This is how I'm choosing to make my voice heard this election. I'm not judging you for voting by any means, but I just hope to raise awareness that Christ has called us to something greater than a political system.

I think this election has changed the idea of Christian voting. I know it has for me, even though I haven't voted previously. Our faith shouldn't be dominated by any one political party. I hope that this election makes people really think about why they vote and where our responsibility as citizens of this great nation and as citizens of the Kingdom of God cross paths.

The Fear of Knowledge

During my quiet time i just had to ask myself a difficult question: Have i grown at all over these past several years? I'm not thinking about mental or emotional or physical growth, but rather spiritual growth. i know that i've matured mentally and emotionally and all that, but spiritually, has there been much change? some times i want to say yes and some times i have to say no. i've learned a lot more about my faith, that's for sure. i love being a Bible major. there's nothing else i would rather study than the Bible. but in times like this it feels like a burden. there's so many more things i know about now about God and the Bible than i did 3 years ago, but how has that impacted my spiritual life? it feels like a burden when i learn of these things from the Bible that most likely never happened. sometimes i think i feel scared to research too much--scared of what i might find, that it will make my faith crumble and i won't have anything left to stand on. my methodology when it comes to research and study is that if you go into your study with a bias, you skew the truth, so i've always tried to analyze objectively and trust that the objective truth will point to Jesus (which, ironically, is still a bias). i'm scared of what i might find if i'm too objective. i'm scared that none of this will be true. i've built my whole life on this stuff. i'm nothing without it anymore. two summers ago, when i had a huge crisis of faith, and i was considering giving up and walking away, the only thing that held me back from that was that Christianity is my whole life, my major, my career path, my social circle--everything. if i walk away from that, i'm nothing. it was fear that held me back, even though i'm glad it did.

i know that there's a big difference between book knowledge and really knowing God. i could study all my life and read every book about Christianity and never get closer to God as a result. so where has all this newfound knowledge gotten me? there's so much of the Christian faith that i'm not even sure i believe in anymore, at least in my day to day living. i don't really believe in miracles, at least nowadays. i'm not sure how i feel about prayer. it was so much easier when i was a teenager and on fire for God, coupled with a blissful ignorance of the realities of the Bible and history.

i do think that knowledge is good. i am glad that i know all these things. but it just scares the crap out of me sometimes and my desire to hold on to some of that lost innocence keeps me from seeking more. my prayer is that God will show me how to turn my knowledge into an application of the heart. a quote by Brennan Manning that i love (and need) is "…intelligence without courage is bankrupt. The truth of faith has little value when it is not also the life of the heart." so may God give me courage. to do what i don't really know. but i need some.

The Idolatry of Politics

Go read this great article by Greg Boyd, a theologian whose ideas, although open theistic and sometimes pretty radical, I really respect.

It bothers me that so many people in our country treat politics like a religion. It bothers me that if you're not one of those people who touts Barack Obama likes he is the Messiah, you're one of those who denounces him like he's the anti-Christ. It bothers me that people put so much of their hope and security in the voting booth. It really bothers me that so many Christians think this is okay.

I haven't decided yet if I'm going to vote. It's not just that I'm apathetic about both candidates (which is true), but I think it's almost my own little rebellion from this system of idolatry. People tell me that voting is my chance to have my voice heard, and if I don't vote, I won't have the right to complain later if things don't go my way. That seems like such petty reasoning to me by those who may put too much hope in our system of politics. I find my hope in Christ, whose Kingdom is not of this world. The Kingdom of God is a higher priority to me than any "kingdoms" of this world. Not to say that I'm rebelling against America or am not grateful for the benefits and freedoms of living here. But to put so much importance on America because some might call it "God's nation" is borderline idolatry to me.

Christians: to put our hope in a worldly system of politics is not okay. To live in a way that is consumed by this system of politics is not okay, because we are supposed to be living for a greater Kingdom.

Blessings?

I've been thinking the past day or so about what a blessing really is. We often say that we are so blessed to be living in America, to be financially stable, for food on the table, etc. But are these really blessings?

Here in America, we are so rich. We don't really have much need. Even our poor are rich by the standards of most of the world. The poverty guidelines state that for a family of four to officially be "in poverty," they must make $19,350/year or under. Literally billions of people throughout the world will never see that much money in their lifetime. That is insane to me.

So, back to the question: is our wealth really a blessing? Most people would say a resounding "yes." We are wealthy, we are comfortable, and we have a lot to thank God for. But what if, and I think this is often (not always) true, our wealth and comfort keep us from God? I think our search and dependency on money is something that hinders the Kingdom of God from taking over this world. I think the individualism of our culture is something that hinders the community of God from becoming united in love and service. Are these things that we call blessings really blessing us when it comes to our spiritual lives? Jesus warned us that it is hard for a rich man to enter the Kingdom, harder than it is to put a camel through the eye of a needle! Fortunately, "with God all things are possible" (Matt. 19:23-26). So this is not to say that wealth and American culture are inherently evil. But I think as Christians, we need to be on our guard against these things that might make it more difficult to enter the Kingdom of God and to live for Christ. We should be aware of what our real blessings are from God.

There's a quote that Big Dave shared with us last night at floor worship that really caught my attention. It's from this guy who is an sociology expert on Africa. He's talking about the weakness and poverty of Africa, compared to the affluence and strength of America. He says, “…suffering unites people, while affluence and riches divide people. In our time success is very fashionable. Strength is fashionable. And in order to be strong and successful you have to throw away all of your scruples. And when you do this, you become alone, because you lose all your friends. Weakness is not fashionable. Compassion is not fashionable. Yet these are the qualities that bring people together.” --Krzyszt of Kieslowski, Newsweek 1995:56

Weakness and poverty is not fashionable. But our strength and wealth tends to divide us and leave us lonely. I'm not saying we should all go out and give away everything we own, but we need to know where true value is--in Christ. All the stuff we have--it's just stuff. It's not going to last. And it's not that much of a blessing to us if it keeps us from Christ. According to Jesus, true blessings come to the poor in spirit, those who mourn, those who are meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, those who are merciful, those who are pure in heart, those who are peacemakers, and those who are persecuted because of righteousness (Matthew 5). Real blessings may not be so apparent to our eyes. But may God reveal to us the real blessings that unite us with Him and with each other, and that hasten the coming of His Kingdom.

Dating...continued

So my last post apparently engendered quite a bit of discussion. I have had several great conversations about it and have heard of others doing the same. Apparently dating--or rather, not dating--is a real hot topic. So I've decided the need for a follow up based on some of these discussions I've had with good friends.

People have asked me why I publicly made this commitment to not date for a while, even when I'm not currently or haven't been recently dating at all. My answer is that this is purely for my mindset and attitude towards dating. I've realized through conversation that in our society (and especially at the college age), dating is an expectation. This is the time in our lives when we're expected to meet our mate and start making babies. It is almost to the point to where dating is a need in order to be socially fulfilled. When us single people see people our age walking around holding hands and falling in love, it pains us because we think we need that too. When it doesn't come along, we start to feel feelings of hopelessness and a passive rejection. This loneliness, when coupled with our massively over-bloated sex drives thanks to our society's moral standards of sex, drives so many of us to the false intimacy of pornography and masturbation, which can quickly become an addiction. It's just a downward spiral from there.

To those that wonder if God is calling you to not date or to be celibate only because you have never dated before--DO NOT MAKE DATING AN EXPECTATION!!!! Don't make dating your hope. Don't fall into this spiral that I and so many others have been down so many times. You are better than that. You are worth more than any girl or guy can fulfill this desire in you. Our hope is found in Jesus Christ, and in Him alone. When we feel trapped by this cycle, true freedom is found in Christ.

Our hormones are real though, and I think that God has created man and woman to be together in intimate relationship. That is a natural and good God-given desire planted within us. According to Genesis, when creating the world and remarking upon how good it was, the first thing that God declared not good was loneliness (2:18). That said, why would He call some of us to not marry? Paul comments on this in several places, but one large chunk of scripture that I've found (in my quick flipping) was in 1 Corinthians chapter 7. He tells how if a man is married, his interests are divided between God and his wife/family. But if a man is unmarried, he can spend his time working completely for the Lord. One key verse is 35, where Paul says, "I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible." For some, maybe having a marriage partner will help them serve the Lord best, and for some, maybe being single will.

I guess the gist of my thoughts is this: be content with the position in which God has placed you right now. Paul says earlier that, "Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him" (1 Cor. 7:20). For right now, God has called me to be single. I believe this is so that I can grow in Him and learn how to serve Him better without the distraction of expecting and searching for a girlfriend. Maybe He has called you to the same place. Or maybe He hasn't. But I think contentment starts with knowing that God has put you in this certain position, and working our best to serve Him in that position.

A Decision

I haven't dated anyone for about 4 years. Most of that time I'd be alright with that, but there would be times when I would get lonely. I'd really feel a great need to have a girlfriend--someone to love and who would love me back. So oftentimes, when a girl who showed any sort of interest in me or was appealing to me, I would start fantasizing about being with her. I would imagine her being my girlfriend and being in love and being perfectly happy. So, imagining myself liking her, I would start to believe that I really did like her. But these feelings would only pop up when I thought about her, never when I was actually with her. And often when I meet a new girl or have a good time with a female friend, I wonder automatically if they would be a good candidate for dating. This has happened more times than I can count, and it drives me nuts. It has bothered me so much for such a long time, and I'm sure it can't be helpful for my relationships with my female friends and how I view girls in general.

So as I've grown a lot closer to God over the past few months, a thought as arisen in me that the greatest thing I could sacrifice to God would be this longing--for love, sex, family, etc. I didn't really like that idea at all. That's one of my greatest wishes--to fall in love, get married and have a family. God surely wouldn't ask me to give that up, would he?

So I kind of brushed that away as something for people other than me, but the thought kept popping up in my mind. Then last Friday, I had a conversation with Dr. Bergler, a professor of mine, about how he used to be a monk. He said that when he joined this brotherhood, he made a commitment not to pursue any type of romantic relationship during that time. This really sparked something within me. I don't know yet if God is calling me to a life of celibacy. I think it's a possibility. But for now, I have made the decision to not pursue any kind of romantic relationship at all for a while. I don't know what God will do with that, if He will lead me down the path of celibacy or place an amazing woman in my life that He wants me to pursue. But I do know that I've already seen the benefits of this decision, even after only a few days. My attitude towards my female friends has been one of great love, but without the thoughts of "Ooh, maybe she would be a good one to date..." I've felt so much more free already , unhindered by the need for a girl. My first impression of a girl is not measuring in my mind if she's datable material anymore. I can actually focus on developing pure relationships with people, rather than with selfish motives. And all of this just by making a tiny decision. To me that just shows how much God cares about relationships. I think this decision will be great for helping me to focus more on God and pursuing Him, rather than a girl. I'm excited to see where He takes me with this.

Proclaiming from the Rooftops

"What I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs."
--Jesus, Matthew 10:27


This verse that I discovered a week or so ago is why I feel the need or a call to be a teacher to others. This is why I blog like this. It's not for my own glory or recognition (at least most of the time--I'm not perfect), but I really think God teaches me things so that I can pass them on to others. This gets me excited. This is what I feel called to do with my life. I feel called to lead other Christians into the holy knowledge of God and His Word. Not that I'm an expert or have the inside scoop--but as God teaches me new insights and truths about Himself, I know that He wants me to pass this on.

All credit, honor, and glory to Him--my Teacher, Lord, Savior, God and King.

My Top 5

After a conversation with my brother yesterday, I was compelled to create a list of my Top 5 Favorite Songs of All Time. This was tougher than I thought it would be. The No. 1 spot was easy, but after that was a struggle. After the top spot they are in no specific order. I tried to pick songs that were timeless--I can listen to these without ever getting tired of them, proving that they weren't just part of a music "phase" or something. So here goes my attempt:

1. "Everything" by Lifehouse (this has easily been my favorite song for about 6 or 7 years. I love it)
2. "Worlds Apart" by Jars of Clay
3. "Untitled #8" by Sigur Ros (there's so many Sigur Ros songs that could have gone here)
4. "Speak to Me Gently" by Future of Forestry
5. "Don't Stop Believing by Journey

There it is (for now). I need to rest.

Batman and Jesus

I just saw The Dark Knight for the third time, and this movie continues to blow me away. I think the third viewing was better than the second, but not as good as the first. This time though, the end made me think even deeper. I love how Batman has to take on the burden of being despised by the very people he works to help. It is a very Christ-like sacrifice on his part. "He was despised and rejected by men" (Isaiah 53:3). Batman is not the hero Gotham wants; he is the guardian and protector it needs. Jesus takes on the burden of giving us what we need--salvation and reconciliation with God, but maybe not necessarily what we want. This is the sacrifice of a hero who knows the people/city he loves better than they do.

I also love how the plot reveals the fallibility not of Good, but of good people. The fall of Harvey Dent really shows how weak even the strongest and best of us can be. But real Good still stands infallible in the character of Batman, who refuses to be corrupted or put down. It shows that Good vs. Evil is not always so simple a battle. In TDK it ends with Good winning out (barely) but being persecuted for it.

If you want to read a great Christian philosophical review of TDK, Greg Boyd has done a great one at his blog which you can find here.

The Practice of the Presence of God

I just finished reading this book, The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. This man was incredible. He was a monk who desired to literally always be in the presence of God in every moment. He desired to completely empty himself of everything that was not of God so that God could have complete rule in his heart. He did every task, however small, for the love of God. His aim was to faithfully and lovingly carry out the duties of the station where God had placed him (Brother Lawrence worked in a kitchen). He said that, "God regards not the greatness of the work, but the love which prompts it." He also said, "In the way of God, thoughts count for little, love is everything."

I read these words and I think about the life that Brother Lawrence lived, and it seems almost unrealistic. I don't know if I'll ever come close to that. Since I started reading it, I've been trying to "practice the presence," but I'm pretty terrible at it. I quickly get wrapped up in something else and completely forget about God for hours at a time. But to Brother Lawrence it was second nature. It was hard for him not to be in the presence of God. That's crazy.

I know that a life lived this way won't happen overnight. I know it will take work. That's what this summer's learning has been about for me. But it's hard for me to grasp this and commit to it. But I want to move forward. One of my favorite quotes from this book was one of encouragement from Brother Lawrence to the one he was writing to: "We must, nevertheless, always work at it, because not to advance in the spiritual life is to go back. But those who have the gale of the Holy Spirit go forward even in sleep." The Holy Spirit needs to be my motivator and guide in this--the gale steering my sails. To progress closer to God even in sleep--now there's something to aim towards.

I want to learn how to really love God. I've realized that I've always known the right words and the right actions. The right way to let others know that I'm a strong follower of Christ. But it's so easy to spout of a Scripture or an encouraging prayer. This is not love. This is scripted. I want to know love. Love is what prompts us to do anything for the object of our love. No matter how small the task, expression, or gift, it is the love behind it that counts. Brother Lawrence had this love for God. He did every task, no matter how menial, for the love of God, because God had put him in that place to do these menial duties in the kitchen. It was God's will that this monk sought to please and fulfill. This is love. To surrender your will to the will of the one you love.

Burdened

I've felt very spiritually burdened the past couple days. My goal is to grow as a disciple of Christ, but I'm finding out just how far away I am. I can't get this image out of my mind of Jesus calling Simon and Andrew to come follow Him (Mark 1:16-18). Simon and Andrew "at once" drop their nets and follow Jesus. The nets represent everything that their old live was. I've realized that my whole Christian walk has been me trying to follow Jesus while dragging my nets along at best, or trying to get Jesus to live my fisherman's life with me at worst. My Christian goal hasn't been following Jesus, it's been following my Comfort, and trying to insert Jesus into that. It's not just like trying to fit the square peg into the round hole, it's like trying to fit a life-size person into my round hole (maybe this is because our/my view of Jesus is just too small). It's not going to work, and it has become a burden.

I think that's why real discipleship is so hard for us today as Christians to get, because we're so dragged back by the nets we're still holding on to. And we wonder why we keep struggling to grow. At least I do/did. It will never work like this. It's either my comfortable former life, or Jesus. All or nothing.

Now even though I'm feeling so burdened by this realization, I'm glad that it has come to me, now that I know what needs to be fixed. But I have no clue how to fix it. I feel trapped and captive by this that I don't know how to fix. Today I read John 8:31-32, where Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." There it is. Simple, right? Hold to my teaching, and you are really my disciple. Does this mean that I need to go through all of Jesus' teachings again? I'm thinking it might. And then you will know the truth, and this truth will set you free. Maybe this truth is what I'm looking for, of how to fix this. I don't know. I can hope.


On an unrelated note, I've found a great new artist that I really like so far, from what I've heard of him. His name is Phil Wickham, and he's a Christian acoustic rock sound. He's got a great voice, creative music, and deep, poetic, and profound lyrics. Here's the chorus to the song "Mystery":

I wanna hear the thunder of who You are
To be captured inside the wonder of who You are
I wanna live, I wanna breathe, to search out Your heart
And all of Your mystery

I really like that, and it's kind of my longing right now. I need a dose of the greatness and the wonder of God. Maybe that needs to be my push to give it all. I'm praying that God will lead me along this journey and show me what needs to be done. Maybe He'll just keep wearing me down with this burden until it becomes too much and I'm forced to give it up. Whatever happens, I am confident that this is the path and the life that God is leading me towards. And I praise Him that I feel so burdened right now, because I know what it's going to lead to. It's for His glory, and may I never lose sight of that.

Discipleship: A sermon

I'm preaching tonight and tomorrow morning (4 services total--eek!) at Good Shepherd. So, once again, I'm going to practice writing out what I want to say on here. Here goes:

God has been teaching me a lot recently. First off, let me give you a picture of my spiritual life so far. So often in my Christian walk, I've prayed that God would make me a better follower, make me grow closer to Him, and make me a more mature Christian. And I would wonder why I seemed to stay in the same place spiritually most of the time. I didn't experience growth. I would go to church camp, or some other great worship time and experience that spiritual high, but then go right back into living life as usual. Continuing to screw up, continuing to fall short, continuing in this seemingly never ending cycle of ups and downs. Yeah, God was always there to forgive me when I messed up, but I couldn't help but wonder, "where's the growth?"

So recently I've been realizing that the Christian life isn't lived on the high mountaintop experiences with the valleys in between, just waiting for the next mountain. The Christian life isn't about not trying to become better because God's grace is always there for us when we screw up. This is what Dietrich Bonhoeffer called "cheap grace." This is the idea where grace fixes everything, so nothing needs to change on our part. We can continue to live our lives the way we want to, because grace has taken the consequence upon itself for us. Sounds like a pretty good deal, right? We get to live life how it's comfortable to us, and we get a free ticket to heaven. This is cheap grace.

One of the most profound things that I've learned recently is that grace is proactive, not just reactive. It's not merely there as our safety net to catch us when we mess up and put us back on our feet. Grace is not merely to erase our record of sin. It does this, but I really don't think that's the main purpose of it. It is proactive. It seeks us out and seeks to change us. Jesus did not die on the cross purely to cancel our debt of sin. He did it to change us, to allow us to become something other than what we've known before. His grace is proactive. His grace is about transforming us to be like Himself. Jesus has called us to be more than forgiven people. He has called us to be a transformed people. He has called us to be his disciples.

We throw around that term, "disciple," a lot, don't we? It's even a part of the mission statement of this church--to attract, build, and utilize disciples. I like that. But it wasn't until recently that I think I really understood fully what a disciple is.

Back in biblical times, there were these highly respected teachers called rabbis. These were men who knew the Scriptures backwards and forwards, who specialized in interpreting the Word of God to teach His people how they should live. These rabbis would go around and try to spread their teaching to the people of Israel. They would gather up bands of followers who wanted to learn from the rabbi and be just like him. These followers were the rabbi's disciples. A disciple was one who desired to learn from the rabbi and become just like him, in every way. I'd like to use this biblical culture example and look at the disciples of Jesus to inform us of how we need to live as disciples.

First off, a disciple was a follower of the rabbi. Someone who goes with the Teacher wherever he goes. Usually, back in the day, the student would pick the rabbi they wanted to follow, and after close examination, the rabbi would either accept the disciple or not. The weird thing about Jesus is, he picks his disciples. In the gospels we see a few stories illustrating this. One of my favorites is in Mark, chapter one starting at verse 16: "As Jesus walked beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 'Come, follow me,' Jesus said, 'and I will make you fishers of men.' At once they left their nets and followed him." There are several events like this that occur in the gospels that show Jesus handpicking his disciples. Isn't that cool to think that--if you are here right now, in church, listening to this--God has handpicked you? He has extended that invitation to you--"Come, follow me." I think it's also interesting to note how Mark words the new disciples' reactions: "At once they left their nets and followed him." Simon and Andrew were fishermen. They lived off their business of catching fish. But at the call of this new rabbi they left their nets, their business, their old lives "at once." To leave all else behind in order to become a disciple of this Rabbi--that's a crazy thought. And scary. It wouldn't have been the same if Simon and Andrew had taken their nets along with them, dragging them behind them as they followed Jesus. They left everything behind. Now, to us--have we given up all of our old lives to follow Jesus, or have we chosen to merely integrate Jesus into our old lives? Now, I don't think this is a call for everyone to leave their jobs and their families behind to follow Jesus now, but it is a call for us to give up our way of living to follow Jesus' way of living. Jesus said in Luke 9:23, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." To deny ourselves, lay down our nets, only to pick up a cross. That's a heck of a call. But if we remember that we are handpicked by this rabbi, we know that he believes in us that we can do this.

Next, a disciple is a student. The word "disciple" literally means "learner" or "student." A disciple is one that wants to learn everything that the rabbi knows. A disciple carefully studies the rabbi's teaching and applies what he learns to how he lives. As disciples of Jesus, we are full time students. And as students, we have to place ourselves in a position to be taught. Let me explain this: As a college student, I'm pretty familiar with what being a student and a learner entails. In order to learn, I have to take several steps: I have to register for classes, pay tuition, buy my books, go to class, pay attention to the lecture, do the reading and homework assignments, study for the tests, etc. All of these things I do to put myself in a position to learn. The main point is that I can't learn just by doing nothing. That's what I didn't get for so long. As Christians, we have to do the work necessary to place ourselves in the position for Jesus to teach us and transform us. That's where growth happens. How do we do this? How do we put ourselves in this position? This is part of what I'm still learning, but a large part of it is in spiritual disciplines such as prayer, study, fasting, service, etc. There's a great book I just finished reading on this called "Celebration of Disciple" by Richard Foster. He goes through many spiritual disciplines and explains how they are merely the things that place us before God so he can transform us. But all of this is unique to every person. We need to find out what best helps to put us in a position before God to be transformed.

Another aspect to being a learner is to study the Rabbi. To study what Jesus taught. I would encourage all of us to really study the gospels and the words of Jesus. Don't just assume you know. Because let me tell you, the "American" Jesus who hates gays, wears red, white, and blue, and supports a political party is not the Jesus we find in the New Testament. I won't go into this now, but if we are students of this rabbi Jesus, we have to really know and understand what His teachings are.

The ultimate purpose of a disciple is to ultimately become like the rabbi and to spread his brand of interpretation and teaching around the world. Jesus attests to this in Luke 6:40, where he says, "A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher." It is our job as disciples to grow to become like our Rabbi and to spread His message. To teach others what He taught us. To live like He lived. That's why when Jesus ascended to Heaven, he left his disciples with this command: "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Matt. 28:19-20). It is our call to make more disciples, to teach the things that Jesus taught, and to teach them how to obey these things. To teach others how to follow, to learn, to obey, and to spread the Word.

Jesus is our ever-present Teacher. Our job as disciples is to be ever-present students. To always be learning, always be growing, always be sharing the Good News--that's the job of a Christian who strives to be a disciple. And it's not exactly going to be easy. It's going to require us to leave behind our comfortable ways of living life the way we want to, to do the work necessary to learn, to obey the teachings of this Rabbi. Discipleship is a journey. It's a continuous process of growth and learning. And it's all worth it.

Update: Giving the sermon went pretty well. I got more confident and comfortable as I went along, and I think overall the message got across, which is what counts, right? If you feel the urge, you can listen to the recording of it here.

Committing to Being Committed

I realized the other night that I am not fully committed to God. I say all the time that I am, but it really hit me that I'm really not. This occurred as I was thinking of asking one of my pastors how they, as pastors, fed themselves spiritually. This got me thinking about how, when I am a pastor, I’ll be preaching about God, giving counsel about God, studying about God, etc., and after all that I need to put aside time to devote to God for myself. I then thought to myself, Man, that is a lot of God. Am I really ready for that? Am I ready for every single moment to be an sacrifice to God? Right now life is so comfortable. I think about, worship, and talk about God when I want to, usually on my timing. I like the comfortable-ness of it. It works for me. But to have a life where absolutely every moment needs to be about God--am I ready for that? It's my whole life.

I think this is why the greatest commandment that Jesus gave us was to love the Lord our God with everything that we've got. You cannot spend every single moment with a person that you do not love completely. From everything I hear about marriage from people who are absolutely committed to and love each other very deeply, even they need space from time to time. But with God, there's no space. He's always there. We don't get any alone time. It makes more sense now when Jesus said, "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it" (Matthew 10:37-39). To devote every single moment of our lives to someone, to do everything to please them, to let there be no space between you and them, forever--is it within the human capacity to love this much? Or maybe it's something that only God, who is Love itself, can initiate in us.

I'm still thinking this stuff through, and maybe I'll never completely have it coherently figured out. I know this isn't going to happen automatically. But this is me, committing to be fully committed. So may I learn to live in discomfort. May I pick up my cross every day and work to give every moment to Him. May I lose myself in this Love, who somehow wants to spend every moment with me.

The Return of the King

I'm giving the sermon tomorrow at Open Arms, which is Good Shepherd's second campus congregation. So I'm going to 'practice' on here. In the words of the Joker, here we go:

We have many different names we like to call God, don't we? I like that we have so many different names, because it helps reveal the many different facets of the kind of relationship that God wants with us. One name that I want to focus on today is "Lord" or "King." We call God "Lord" all the time, but do we really carry with us an understanding of what this means to call God "Lord"? We can investigate this by looking way back in the Old Testament to understand the relationship between God and the ancient Israelites.

God's relationship with the Israelites cannot be properly understood outside the context of the Covenant. The nation of Israel was defined by their relationship with God inside the covenant. God made a covenant, or promise, with Israel at Mount Sinai. This was basically Israel's new, fresh start as a nation after coming out of 400 years of slavery in Egypt. The terms of this covenant are written out in the Torah, the first five books of the Bible. This was a formal agreement, like a contract. In fact, the entire book of Deuteronomy is structured similar to other ancient Near Eastern treaties found during that time period between a king and his subjects. These contracts governed the "rules" that the two parties would live by in this agreement. I think it's great that God speaks to Israel in a language and style that they are familiar with--such as the social structures of cultures around them.

The terms of this covenant are set by God--He is the one in charge. He names off all of His conditions for the covenant, and that is what we find in the book of Leviticus. All these "rules" about how the Israelites should live are part of the terms of the covenant that God set. All this to establish that God was the King in the relationship between Himself and Israel. This was a big part of what defined Israel's religion. Israel was a theocracy, a nation governed completely by God.

I find it helpful to picture what other kings in the ancient world were like, and how people acted around them. We've all seen movies and read books with this element in it. When people see the king passing by, they immediately move out of the way and bow down to him. When the king requests something, he gets it immediately, without question. The words of the king become law. Servants would immediately fall down and hunch over if the king needed a footstool. All of this wasn't done just for kicks and giggles. It was because of a genuine reverence and great respect for the king. People would literally worship this man who sat on a throne. All of this for a man who was born into this position of authority.

Let's compare this to the King of kings and Lord of lords, our God who's very presence is too great for any man to view and live. This Lord of Hosts, who commands all the heavenly bodies as His army. This King who conquers lands and nations for the sake of His people. This King who's name is too sacred to utter, so much so that the pronunciation of this Name is now lost. This King who is so holy that the very ground where He is present is made holy (we are in a holy place right now because He is present--isn't that cool?). This King uses the entire earth as His footstool! In the book of Revelation, dozens of kings--these powerful men who are constantly waited on hand and foot--lay their crowns before the King of kings and bow down prostrate to worship Him day and night.

It's in this context, understanding God as the King, that all of Jesus talk about the Kingdom of God makes more sense. Jesus talked about the Kingdom of God more than any other subject during His ministry.

But it's so amazing that this King we serve is no typical king. He is so powerful and mighty, and all the things that come with being a king multiplied by thousands. But at the same time, somehow, he is still so personal, and so intimate. This is a King who loves His people as a Father.
Yet we reject Him. In 1 Samuel chapter 8, Israel requests a king to rule them. You can almost hear the hurt in God's voice when he tells Samuel, "...they have rejected me as their King." What have we made our king in place of God? What rules our lives? Scripture makes it clear that anything that rules our lives apart from God is sin.

God, this King who has conquered nations, wants to conquer your life and mine. He wants to be the only ruler, and the supreme ruler, Lord over everything in our lives. This King, who led Joshua and Israel to conquer Jericho, is on a mission to conquer you. Perhaps at this point in your life, He is circling you, quietly closing in. Perhaps He is knocking down walls, the barriers that separate you from Him, right now. Has he conquered you yet? Is He King over every part of your life? Does every part of you exist to serve Him? I'll be honest with you, I'm not there yet. I haven't turned everything over to Him yet. But I'm getting there. I know that my life is headed in the direction of the King, slowly but surely being completely and utterly conquered. I hope yours is too.

The paradox of this is, to be completely conquered by God brings complete freedom in Him. We are free from all the things of this world that vie for our attention and only seek to enslave us. 2 Corinthians says, "Christ's love controls us." If we allow ourselves to be completely conquered and controlled by this King, we receive life, and life to the fullest.

Update: The sermon went pretty well. Not phenomenal, but good. It didn't really sound much like this though.

Blown Away

I love those moments when the love of God just blows me away. When, in a moment of perfect clarity, I know why I'm living for this, why I want to work so hard for this. When nothing else could seem more real than the powerful and life-changing presence of God right there with me. When I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that this God, this Savior, this Lord, is the One that holds everything together and still loves me enough to give it all up.

Amazing.

This God--who so often has the ability to completely blow me away and break down every barrier that keeps me from Him--is my everything. He is my reason, my source, and my purpose. He is the Alpha and Omega of my life, and all things in my life are by Him and for Him.

And all this for how often I sin against Him. How often I turn my back and do my own thing. How often I blatantly and purposefully disregard Him. He still loves. "Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault" (Colossians 1:22). His loving eyes look past all my sin and flaws and see me as holy, without fault at all. This blows my mind.

This is something worth living for. Giving everything for. Doing the work it requires to be a disciple for. It's worth it.

What is a Disciple?

Like I said before, I decided to name this blog "A Disciple's Journey." This is partially a result of a profound realization that has rocked my spiritual world the past few days, which I am going to share here.

The word "disciple" in the Greek literally means "learner." It was used in Jesus' day to describe those who followed a rabbi, going with him every where that he went, learning from him, and emulating him. They were, in effect, full time students. They devoted their entire lives to the teaching and way of life of their rabbi. They wanted their lives to be transformed and shaped to be like that of their rabbi. Thus, to be a disciple of Jesus is to devote our entire lives to his teaching and way of life, immersing ourselves in Him. We are full time students of Jesus Christ, the ultimate rabbi, and this must come with a desire to be transformed to be like Him in every way.

Now here's the thing that gets me: If we are to devote ourselves to the teachings of Jesus, we must place ourselves in a position to be taught.

An example: As I'm currently in the midst of my college career, I know what it's like to be a student and a learner. In order to learn, I have to take several steps and do some hard work to gain the knowledge that I want to attain. I have to register for classes, pay tuition, buy books, show up for class, pay attention to the lecture, do the homework and reading assignments, study for the tests, etc. All of this to gain the knowledge that I desire. I need to do all of this to place myself in the ideal position to learn. The thing is that I can't learn just by doing nothing. The same applied to the disciples of the rabbi. They had to follow the rabbi around everywhere he went, absorbing his teaching and taking note of how he lived his life, all in order to learn from him and become like him.

So how do we apply this to learning and becoming like Jesus? By immersing ourselves in Him, by doing the things necessary to place ourselves in a position to be taught and transformed by Him. We can't just assume that if we sit around, eventually we will grow in spiritual maturity as we get older and wiser. Not much that's worth having in this life comes easy (no matter what Hollywood says). We have to work for it! We have to start with the desire to learn from God and be transformed by Him. For so long I've been living a lazy faith, assuming that I would grow and change over time. Now that I've realized all this, I want to really grow. I want to be transformed, and I want to be a true disciple.

What can I do as a Christian to place myself in a position to grow and be transformed? Resources for this have been given to us by God in the form of spiritual disciplines. Spiritual disciplines is a term that so often automatically turns people off. It has a real negative connotation around it. But spiritual disciplines are not meant to restrict our lives, but to free us. As soon as I realized all of this a few days ago, I went to the library and checked out Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline. I'm only a few chapters into it, but it has already had a profound impact on me, and I would recommend it to everyone. For the sake of length, I'm not going to go too much into the book in this post.

But for now, I'm overjoyed to find myself longing for God, and thirsting for the things of God. I feel like I'm finally on my way to becoming a disciple of Christ. Will you join me on this journey?

The Christening Post

Hello! This is my first attempt at blogging, so this is going to be an experience for me. I've tinkered around with the idea of creating a blog for a while, so I decided to just go for it.

First off, the name of this blog took some considering for me. I decided on A Disciple's Journey because that is what I consider myself: a disciple of Jesus Christ. "Disciple" literally means "learner," so this will be my record of the things that I am learning on my journey closer to Christ and further into ministry. I know that I have a lot to learn, so who knows where that will take this blog.

I'm also greatly interested in movies, music, and culture, so I'll probably end up posting stuff about that too, along with whatever random things I want to. This is my blog--I can do whatever I want, right?