Dating...continued

So my last post apparently engendered quite a bit of discussion. I have had several great conversations about it and have heard of others doing the same. Apparently dating--or rather, not dating--is a real hot topic. So I've decided the need for a follow up based on some of these discussions I've had with good friends.

People have asked me why I publicly made this commitment to not date for a while, even when I'm not currently or haven't been recently dating at all. My answer is that this is purely for my mindset and attitude towards dating. I've realized through conversation that in our society (and especially at the college age), dating is an expectation. This is the time in our lives when we're expected to meet our mate and start making babies. It is almost to the point to where dating is a need in order to be socially fulfilled. When us single people see people our age walking around holding hands and falling in love, it pains us because we think we need that too. When it doesn't come along, we start to feel feelings of hopelessness and a passive rejection. This loneliness, when coupled with our massively over-bloated sex drives thanks to our society's moral standards of sex, drives so many of us to the false intimacy of pornography and masturbation, which can quickly become an addiction. It's just a downward spiral from there.

To those that wonder if God is calling you to not date or to be celibate only because you have never dated before--DO NOT MAKE DATING AN EXPECTATION!!!! Don't make dating your hope. Don't fall into this spiral that I and so many others have been down so many times. You are better than that. You are worth more than any girl or guy can fulfill this desire in you. Our hope is found in Jesus Christ, and in Him alone. When we feel trapped by this cycle, true freedom is found in Christ.

Our hormones are real though, and I think that God has created man and woman to be together in intimate relationship. That is a natural and good God-given desire planted within us. According to Genesis, when creating the world and remarking upon how good it was, the first thing that God declared not good was loneliness (2:18). That said, why would He call some of us to not marry? Paul comments on this in several places, but one large chunk of scripture that I've found (in my quick flipping) was in 1 Corinthians chapter 7. He tells how if a man is married, his interests are divided between God and his wife/family. But if a man is unmarried, he can spend his time working completely for the Lord. One key verse is 35, where Paul says, "I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible." For some, maybe having a marriage partner will help them serve the Lord best, and for some, maybe being single will.

I guess the gist of my thoughts is this: be content with the position in which God has placed you right now. Paul says earlier that, "Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him" (1 Cor. 7:20). For right now, God has called me to be single. I believe this is so that I can grow in Him and learn how to serve Him better without the distraction of expecting and searching for a girlfriend. Maybe He has called you to the same place. Or maybe He hasn't. But I think contentment starts with knowing that God has put you in this certain position, and working our best to serve Him in that position.