Today started off really early--6 am. We met with the brothers at the breakfast table then did morning prayers in the same routine as the brothers in Lansing. After that I took a nap instead of preparing for the morning session. My rationale was that I could probably contribute more to the conversation if I was well-rested but unprepared than if I were well prepared but falling asleep during the session. And, as I guessed, my lack of preparedness didn't really matter anyways.
Today was the fast day for the brotherhood, so we didn't eat breakfast or lunch, but had an awesome dinner this evening to break the fast. Fasting didn't go too bad for me, but I feel like I didn't take advantage of it as a spiritual discipline. I'm still not quite sure on how to use that as a spiritual discipline. I think I've not been doing too well with gaining spiritual discipline for myself on this trip. One of my biggest struggles is setting aside time specifically for God in prayer, worship, and study. If I can't even do that here, in a controlled spiritual environment, how am I going to do on that back at school, or at home? Probably not well at all. I think I've been able to grow closer in my relationship with the Lord, but I think that has been mostly due to the inspiring influence and example of the brothers around me who have so much devotion and our times of corporate prayer and worship every day. I need to learn how to grow in the Lord on my own again.
One of the main things I love about the men in the brotherhood is that they always talk about the Lord as if He is really REAL, present in that very moment, and very active in their lives. And they always talk about Him with the utmost reverence and respect. It's so different to how I and many of my friends talk. Not that we don't believe that the Lord is real, but it's as if He's more on the peripherals of our lives, rather than ruling as the total and complete LORD of our lives. Sometimes we joke around about God, or when someone says "No way!" I'll respond with "Yahweh!" It's funny sure, but how is that respecting the holy name of the LORD? These men are so single-heartedly devoted to their God that it shows through in their speech. I hope I can learn to be the same.
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