Intentionality

I don't know if intentionality is a real word. But i'm using it. Because it fits. And i can.

I am currently called by the Lord my God to live single. I have felt this calling on my life ever since just over a year ago, at the beginning of my junior year of college. You can read more about that decision if you want here and here. It was at a time when i really felt the Lord calling me to a deeper walk of discipleship with Him, to devote my life more fully and completely to His purposes. I read 1 Corinthians 7, the famous passage where Paul talks about living celibate for the sake of Christ. He talks about how if one is called to live single, then they can devote more of themselves to the Lord's service and to ministry, without having their interests divided between a family and ministry, and i thought Yes! This is great! This is what i want to do! Serve God fully! And when i committed myself to not pursuing dating in order to try and discern God's call on my life, it was fantastic. My relationships with female friends grew immensely, and this time with pure motives on my part, and i just had a better outlook on life.

A year later, and i'm struggling. At the end of this past summer, i decided that i needed to renew my commitment for another year, because i had been slacking off. And so far this semester, it has been one large struggle to maintain a pure heart and mind in intentionally being single. My old thoughts and habits have begun to return to me. Doubt crept in. Did i rush into renewing this commitment? Am i just supposed to get married and stop trying so hard, when all i do is fail?

This week is a spiritual emphasis week here on our campus, about Living Single for the Lord. It is being put on by the same monastic community that i visited last J-term, and i learned an immeasurable amount about living single from them. Through having them here, God has reminded me why He called me to this in the first place--for the sake of ministry. I haven't been called to live single for this time in my life just for kicks and giggles. I've been called for a purpose. I have been called out so that my life can be more fully devoted to the Lord's service. This is what i'd forgotten. This is what i'd been missing, and why i'd been struggling. I was missing the intention behind the action.

As Christians, we are all called for the purpose of sharing and spreading the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ to the world, investing ourselves in the Kingdom of God and showing the love and light of Christ to all those around us. We can do that whether we're dating, married, widowed, or single. It's just a matter of serving this purpose the best you can in whatever situation you are in. But those who have been specifically set aside for singleness have the purpose of being single-mindedly devoted to this work. I've been missing out on the intentionality and the purpose of what i've been called to. My heart has not been focused and devoted to the Lord throughout this discernment process, which makes the whole process kind of pointless.

We are all called to live with intention. We are all called to one purpose. We are called to live deliberately serving the Kingdom, not just by accident or just when we feel like it. But all the time, on purpose, for a purpose. Some are called in different ways than others. But our purpose remains the same, all glory to God.