Sex is (for obvious reasons) a very interesting topic. It's so interesting to me to observe the attitudes about sex in our popular culture, and especially within Christianity. We have moved from the Victorian-era taboo attitude towards sex, where talking about it is socially forbidden, to the post-sexual revolution, where sex is very casual and not really a big deal to most people anymore. Many Christians in this generation have turned sex into a big deal again, but in a good way. We are led by the Mark Driscoll's, who's favorite book in the Bible is Song of Solomon, and preach more about sex than most other topics relevant to Christianity. Christians have begun to embrace sex as something God-given and awesome, and propagate it as the highest form of physical intimacy that borders on the spiritual experience.
I think sex is definitely a God-given thing for us to experience pleasure, but I think the pendulum of sexual attitudes has swung all the way to the other extreme of exalting sex too much. This has been a topic talked about in several blogs that I read recently. One great point that was made was that, if we Christians look to Jesus as the archetype of all that it means to be human, then sexuality can tell us nothing about what it truly means to be human, because Jesus was never married or had sex. Sexuality can't be the ultimate human experience, because Christ, the ultimate human, never experienced it. I think that's part of the reason why so many Christians have the attitude towards marriage as bringing completeness in someone's life. Marriage and sex have been so over-theologized that if someone is still single past the expected time when they should be married, then they have not experienced fulfillment as a human being and are somehow not following God's will. Because of course, it is God's will that everyone should be married and have 3 kids and a white picket fence.
I can know the full reality of being human without ever having sex. Because Christ, my ultimate example in EVERYTHING, is the full reality of being human. Frankly, sex and marriage are not necessary to being human. This is not to discount that they are, in fact, gifts from God. There's no doubt in my mind that they are good within their God-given context, but we've just over-glorified and over-spiritualized them.
Humanity has tried making sex taboo, and we've tried glorifying sex, and neither really works. Can't sex just be something ordinary? Why does it have to be something that we haggle over whether it is good or bad, or appropriate to talk about in Church? We just need to get back to the focus of making Christ our ultimate goal, and let everything else fall into place after that.
Well put Ben! I would add that our sexuality (who we are as sexual beings) is a much bigger topic that simply engaging in sexual intercourse (and its various modern incarnations are numerous!) And in that aspect of our sexuality we probably can learn a lot from Jesus. He was a man who acted as a male human. I would posit that he teaches us how to live and relate out of our sexuality (our maleness and femaleness) and shows us that our sexuality is in fact about MUCH MORE than sexual intercourse...
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think of that?
Nico, are you talking about our sexuality being rooted in our thoughts and desires and such? Because i'd agree with that, in that sense it's much more than just actual intercourse. i'm not sure how much we can draw from Jesus' example on that one though, but from His teachings we have things like lustful thoughts equaling adultery. so as far as how our search for purity relates to our sexuality, is purity in itself a fight against our sexuality? or can it be that we use it in a way that is honoring to the Lord? (i'm not sure what that looks like, i'm just thinking out loud). Thoughts?
ReplyDeleteYeah I think our sexuality does impact our thoughts and desires. I think I'm using the term to mean something even bigger though. Here's how I'd put it: who I am as a man affects more than sexual relations and more than thoughts and desires. I think that's what I'm getting at - it's much much more. When you say that we can know and live out our humanity fully without having sex, you're getting at a fuller picture of "sexuality".
ReplyDeleteI don't think purity is a battle against sexuality, but rather the proper ordering of our sexuality in who we are as human beings. Purity is the virtue applied to the area of sexuality. See what I mean?