Since Ms. Newkirk complained that i don't blog regularly enough, here is a new post.
Actually, her complaint got me thinking. Why do i blog? Because in all reality, i know that not many people read this, and blogging is definitely not the best form of ministry i could be practicing on a regular basis. Blogging is a really popular thing right now, and i think it's a place where a lot of talking is done, but nothing actually gets done. We can discuss and argue and debate over issues, but what is that doing to accomplish the work of the Kingdom of God in the world? I think it definitely can have its good effects, but seriously? Is blogging just an outlet for my own narcissism, in order for people to read my stuff and know how wise and spiritual i am? maybe sometimes. that's why i'm so hesitant about Twitter. I'm tempted to join sometimes, but part of it just feels like pure narcissism wrapped up in less than 140 characters.
but in all honesty, i really do think my main motives are for good, and for good outside myself. i want to bless others with what God has blessed me. I want to teach people. I think the Lord has called me to be a teacher of His Word in some form, and since i don't really have an outlet for teaching at the moment, this is a good place. Even if one person is blessed by it, then it's worth it, isn't it? Ironically, i blogged about this a long time ago, back when i first started this blog. Jesus has called me to proclaim that which He is teaching me, and i want to be obedient to that, whatever form it may take.
So maybe i'll keep trying for now. Not just for Sarah (not that i'm not annoyed by your complaining!), not for me, but for the sake of God's people and being faithful to the calling that the Lord has placed on my life.
Showing posts with label narcissism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label narcissism. Show all posts
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
Some Individualistic, Narcissitic Thoughts
No, this is not a "25 Things" blog. Please no. I still refuse to do one of those.
But i think i've been learning a lot of things about myself recently, and they have come to my attention, so i figured i'd write them down.
I prefer to listen rather than talk most of the time. When i'm talking and trying to make a point, i much prefer succinctness over talking for a long time. I have friends that are very good talkers, and they can go on and on about a point, elaborating and elaborating more. Not that that's bad, but it's not my style. I'll try to say it short and say it well. I've especially been noticing this in prayer. Sometimes it almost bothers me when people are praying and they're just going on and on about nothing, and a lot of times it feels like they've said this stuff a thousand times over and they're just saying it to say it. I just like to say what needs to be said and be done with it. That turned into a hyper-critical rant, and i'm sorry about that. Am i disproving my own point? Hmm....
I don't like to form an opinion unless i'm forced to. I find that it works best for me to keep an open mind about most situations when they don't directly apply to me. So that leaves me ambivalent about most things, and I'm okay with that. This applies politically, theologically, philosophically, and relationally. I'll often try to look at the options as objectively as i can and not pick sides until there's comes a point when i have to. I'm not sure yet if this is a good quality or not, but i kind of like it. It makes life and relationships and discussions easier.
My life and my relationship with the LORD improve dramatically when i am doing well at being disciplined, whether it's physically, spiritually, mentally, whatever. But still i don't do well with discipline, regardless of how it affects me. That's dumb.
Sometimes i just like to rebel against the status quo and against popular opinion for the fun of it.
Regardless of that last statement, i've found myself gravitating more and more this past semester back toward the traditional Church practices. There is so much richness and value in those, and it makes me wonder how much other churches are missing out on when they refuse to do traditional stuff.
I like my introverted-ness, but sometimes i wish i was better at conversations with people.
I thought i had more than that, but i guess not. Maybe if i think of more, i'll edit later.
Goodnight!
But i think i've been learning a lot of things about myself recently, and they have come to my attention, so i figured i'd write them down.
I prefer to listen rather than talk most of the time. When i'm talking and trying to make a point, i much prefer succinctness over talking for a long time. I have friends that are very good talkers, and they can go on and on about a point, elaborating and elaborating more. Not that that's bad, but it's not my style. I'll try to say it short and say it well. I've especially been noticing this in prayer. Sometimes it almost bothers me when people are praying and they're just going on and on about nothing, and a lot of times it feels like they've said this stuff a thousand times over and they're just saying it to say it. I just like to say what needs to be said and be done with it. That turned into a hyper-critical rant, and i'm sorry about that. Am i disproving my own point? Hmm....
I don't like to form an opinion unless i'm forced to. I find that it works best for me to keep an open mind about most situations when they don't directly apply to me. So that leaves me ambivalent about most things, and I'm okay with that. This applies politically, theologically, philosophically, and relationally. I'll often try to look at the options as objectively as i can and not pick sides until there's comes a point when i have to. I'm not sure yet if this is a good quality or not, but i kind of like it. It makes life and relationships and discussions easier.
My life and my relationship with the LORD improve dramatically when i am doing well at being disciplined, whether it's physically, spiritually, mentally, whatever. But still i don't do well with discipline, regardless of how it affects me. That's dumb.
Sometimes i just like to rebel against the status quo and against popular opinion for the fun of it.
Regardless of that last statement, i've found myself gravitating more and more this past semester back toward the traditional Church practices. There is so much richness and value in those, and it makes me wonder how much other churches are missing out on when they refuse to do traditional stuff.
I like my introverted-ness, but sometimes i wish i was better at conversations with people.
I thought i had more than that, but i guess not. Maybe if i think of more, i'll edit later.
Goodnight!
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