Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Quotable Merton
From Thomas Merton's spiritual autobiography, The Seven Storey Mountain, which i'm reading for my History of Christianity class:
Random, i know. But i really liked it.
There is not a flower that opens, not a seed that falls into the ground, and not an ear of wheat that nods on the end of its stalk in the wind that does not preach and proclaim the greatness and the mercy of God to the whole world.
There is not an act of kindness or generosity, not an act of sacrifice done, or a word of peace and gentleness spoken, not a child's prayer uttered, that does not sing hymns to God before His throne, and in the eyes of men, and before their faces.
How does it happen that in the thousands of generations of murderers since Cain, our dark bloodthirsty ancestor, that some of us can still be saints? The quietness and hiddenness and placidity of the truly good people in the world all proclaim the glory of God.
Random, i know. But i really liked it.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
A New Intercession
Just now the Lord really put on my heart a new prayer and a new softness in my heart for those who have no one to pray for them. I'm starting to really realize in my life the power and importance of intercessory prayer, and something that just occurred to me was, what about those who don't have anyone in their life who will pray for them? What about those who don't have any believers in their lives who love them enough and are willing to intercede for them to the Lord? Then i realize that this is probably a huge portion of the population, and that sucks.
When a friend of mine is going through a tough time or is having spiritual struggles, i will gladly pray for them. But non-believers certainly have spiritual struggles, even apart from an awareness of the reality of Christ. Who will pray for their souls in these times? When they go through a dark night of the soul, but don't even have the hope of the daylight of Christ--these people need prayer too. I want to pray for them, but i'm almost intimidated to do so. It's kind of a daunting task. If a non-believer knew someone was praying for them, would they be offended? Would they be touched at the thought that someone was thinking and caring about them, even if they thought it was naive and foolish to pray in the first place? I guess then it's a good thing that intercessory prayer is not for their sake, in the sense that they don't have to know that it's happening in order for it to be effective.
That was a ramble, and i'm sorry for that. I don't know where i was going with it. But yeah, the Lord just put that on my heart. Try it--pray for those who have no one in to pray for them. Those who are without hope and life and love and the security of faith.
When a friend of mine is going through a tough time or is having spiritual struggles, i will gladly pray for them. But non-believers certainly have spiritual struggles, even apart from an awareness of the reality of Christ. Who will pray for their souls in these times? When they go through a dark night of the soul, but don't even have the hope of the daylight of Christ--these people need prayer too. I want to pray for them, but i'm almost intimidated to do so. It's kind of a daunting task. If a non-believer knew someone was praying for them, would they be offended? Would they be touched at the thought that someone was thinking and caring about them, even if they thought it was naive and foolish to pray in the first place? I guess then it's a good thing that intercessory prayer is not for their sake, in the sense that they don't have to know that it's happening in order for it to be effective.
That was a ramble, and i'm sorry for that. I don't know where i was going with it. But yeah, the Lord just put that on my heart. Try it--pray for those who have no one in to pray for them. Those who are without hope and life and love and the security of faith.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Guilt
I couldn't really celebrate Easter yesterday. My sin and temptation have been kicking me in the balls lately, and it sucks, because i feel like it's so much a part of who i am, but i know that it's not what i'm supposed to be. And so often, i don't feel guilty for the sin committed, but i feel guilty because i don't feel guilty. I don't know what else to do. I know the story of Good Friday and Easter, but i've been questioning myself all weekend, "What does this really mean for me?" I couldn't focus on finding an answer, and my sin raged on. I could not enjoy the life of the Resurrection when i was still caught in the death of sin.
I'm reading John Bunyan's Grace Abounding right now for class, and ironically, in the section i'm reading, he's going through much of the same as myself. At one point, God's Spirit struck him one day with a word. He says, "...as I was walking under a hedge, full of sorrow and guilt God knows, and bemoaning myself for this hard hap...suddenly this sentence bolted in upon me, The blood of Christ remits all guilt; at this I made a stand in my spirit" (paragraph 144). I realize that the blood of Christ has freed me from this sin, but why do i still feel so trapped by it? If the blood of Christ remits all guilt, why do i still feel guilty?
But i also realize that "guilt" here is not referring to a feeling, but rather, a state. It's like in a courtroom, and Jesus is my advocate, defending my case before the Father, and by His grace, i am found not guilty. I am guilty of the crime committed, but somehow, through the blood of Christ, i am found not guilty. My state has been changed. Christ did not die for my feelings. He died for my eternal state. So even if i still feel guilty, I can find at least some rest in the knowledge that I am not guilty. I thank God that i am saved, even when i don't feel like it. Thank God that my salvation is not dependent on my feelings, but rather, on His grace that is somehow big enough to cover all of me.
I'm reading John Bunyan's Grace Abounding right now for class, and ironically, in the section i'm reading, he's going through much of the same as myself. At one point, God's Spirit struck him one day with a word. He says, "...as I was walking under a hedge, full of sorrow and guilt God knows, and bemoaning myself for this hard hap...suddenly this sentence bolted in upon me, The blood of Christ remits all guilt; at this I made a stand in my spirit" (paragraph 144). I realize that the blood of Christ has freed me from this sin, but why do i still feel so trapped by it? If the blood of Christ remits all guilt, why do i still feel guilty?
But i also realize that "guilt" here is not referring to a feeling, but rather, a state. It's like in a courtroom, and Jesus is my advocate, defending my case before the Father, and by His grace, i am found not guilty. I am guilty of the crime committed, but somehow, through the blood of Christ, i am found not guilty. My state has been changed. Christ did not die for my feelings. He died for my eternal state. So even if i still feel guilty, I can find at least some rest in the knowledge that I am not guilty. I thank God that i am saved, even when i don't feel like it. Thank God that my salvation is not dependent on my feelings, but rather, on His grace that is somehow big enough to cover all of me.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Stories
Tonight at chapel, the speaker Tony Kriz said that he was taking a risk. He asked all of us there to get into a position where we could see most of the people in the auditorium. And he read off a list of statements, ranging from "I love cartoons" to "I have been the victim of abuse" and had each person who could say that about themselves stand up. Everyone could see everyone. If you were brave enough to stand up at one of the statements, there was no hiding. You were out in the open. Everyone knew your secret, your pain, your regret. You were vulnerable. And it sucked. But at the same time it was so good, and so powerful. I had tears welling up in my eyes as i looked around the room and saw people i know, even friends of mine, admit some of their greatest pains in front of everyone. The statements kept rattling off, usually followed by a deafening silence at the sheer weight of it, followed up by the creaking of some chairs as the brave ones took a stand for being vulnerable. It takes a lot of bravery to admit you're a coward, and it takes a lot of strength to admit that you're weak. The power of these few moments in Zurcher auditorium was almost tangible.
"People would be surprised to know that I'm lonely."
"I hate the way God made me."
"I hate what I see when I look in the mirror."
"I have struggled with an eating disorder."
"I don't believe in God."
And on, and on, etc. The whole point of this was not to make us all feel like crap, but to share our story and have others share their story with us. It was so moving because, in those moments, we realized that we are not alone in our weaknesses and our struggles. We all have a story. We all have pains. We are all human. And in those moments, i think we were united in our humanity. Maybe we started to see each other as God sees us--as people that have lost their way so many times and just need to be loved.
I don't want to forget those moments. I don't want to forget the story of humanity. Because the funny thing was, in those moments where there seemed to be so much pain being shared, i felt even more love being shared. I wanted to go up to so many people and give them a big, meaning-filled hug, because i knew that i shared a part in their story, and they in mine. And filled with the knowledge that we all are wrapped up in the pain-filled and redemptive story of Christ, i feel hope.
"People would be surprised to know that I'm lonely."
"I hate the way God made me."
"I hate what I see when I look in the mirror."
"I have struggled with an eating disorder."
"I don't believe in God."
And on, and on, etc. The whole point of this was not to make us all feel like crap, but to share our story and have others share their story with us. It was so moving because, in those moments, we realized that we are not alone in our weaknesses and our struggles. We all have a story. We all have pains. We are all human. And in those moments, i think we were united in our humanity. Maybe we started to see each other as God sees us--as people that have lost their way so many times and just need to be loved.
I don't want to forget those moments. I don't want to forget the story of humanity. Because the funny thing was, in those moments where there seemed to be so much pain being shared, i felt even more love being shared. I wanted to go up to so many people and give them a big, meaning-filled hug, because i knew that i shared a part in their story, and they in mine. And filled with the knowledge that we all are wrapped up in the pain-filled and redemptive story of Christ, i feel hope.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
The Imitation of Christ
My orders from Amazon.com arrived yesterday, and fortunately, i was able to meet up with my mom tonight to pick them up. I got Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross and The Imitation of Christ by Thomas Kempis. Both books, with shipping prices, were under $11!! It was an impulse buy, and probably not a great one since i'm low on money, but i couldn't pass up that deal.
Anyways, i opened up The Imitation of Christ tonight, and i only got through about 3 pages when i realized that i'd underlined most of the text up to that point and i needed to stop and process what i'd just read. It's incredible. Let me give you a small sampling of some great quotes from the first 4 pages:
"What good does it to speak learnedly about the Trinity if, lacking humility, you displease the Trinity? Indeed it is not learning that makes a man holy and just, but a virtuous life makes him pleasing to God. I would rather feel contrition that know how to define it. For what would it profit us to know the whole Bible by heart and the principles of all the philosophers if we live without grace and the love of God? Vanity of vanities and all if vanity, except to love God and serve Him alone."
"The more you know and the better you understand, the more severely you will be judged, unless your life is also the more holy. Do not be proud, therefore, because of your learning or skill. Rather, fear because of the talent given you." (This reminds me of James 3:1, which scares the poo out of me!!)
"On the day of judgment, surely, we shall not be asked what we have read but what we have done; not how well we have spoken but how well we have lived."
"He is truly great who has great charity. He is truly great who is little in his own eyes and makes nothing of the highest honor. He is truly wise who looks upon all earthly things as folly that he may gain Christ. He who does God's will and renounces his own is truly very learned."
Obviously, there's quite a bit about the potential pride that knowledge can bring, which is something that i tend to struggle with. So, needless to say, i'm excited about this book. Hopefully i'll actually find time to read it inbetween all the other academic learning stuff i have to do. *Sigh* I want to read so much this summer, stuff that i won't be tested on. Until then...
Anyways, i opened up The Imitation of Christ tonight, and i only got through about 3 pages when i realized that i'd underlined most of the text up to that point and i needed to stop and process what i'd just read. It's incredible. Let me give you a small sampling of some great quotes from the first 4 pages:
"What good does it to speak learnedly about the Trinity if, lacking humility, you displease the Trinity? Indeed it is not learning that makes a man holy and just, but a virtuous life makes him pleasing to God. I would rather feel contrition that know how to define it. For what would it profit us to know the whole Bible by heart and the principles of all the philosophers if we live without grace and the love of God? Vanity of vanities and all if vanity, except to love God and serve Him alone."
"The more you know and the better you understand, the more severely you will be judged, unless your life is also the more holy. Do not be proud, therefore, because of your learning or skill. Rather, fear because of the talent given you." (This reminds me of James 3:1, which scares the poo out of me!!)
"On the day of judgment, surely, we shall not be asked what we have read but what we have done; not how well we have spoken but how well we have lived."
"He is truly great who has great charity. He is truly great who is little in his own eyes and makes nothing of the highest honor. He is truly wise who looks upon all earthly things as folly that he may gain Christ. He who does God's will and renounces his own is truly very learned."
Obviously, there's quite a bit about the potential pride that knowledge can bring, which is something that i tend to struggle with. So, needless to say, i'm excited about this book. Hopefully i'll actually find time to read it inbetween all the other academic learning stuff i have to do. *Sigh* I want to read so much this summer, stuff that i won't be tested on. Until then...
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